Monday 20 December 2010

memoir..

Salam,

A post by his mother in his blog:-
we really need to be close to quran while we are still alive.


Assalamualaikum,

Mas Afzal passed away at 2.24am, 18th December, 2010. His papa, brother Andi, sisters Aiysha n Atiqah,uncle Shahrir n me were with him till he breathed his last. He was intubated and n in an induced coma from about 1pm the day earlier because he was having difficulty breathing n his Blood Pressue was getting very low.

Since he was admitted to the Ampang Hospital on December 2nd, he did not get any good night's sleep. Now, he can rest and wait for me n all of us to join him.

I thank Allah for letting me borrow him for the last 26 years. I am also thankful that Allah has given me n my family the opportunity to take care of him while he was in hospital.

Many of his friends visited him in hospital n he could recognise them all, even during the times when he was in a confused n sometimes delirious state because of the infection he suffered n the pure oxygen he was given.

He told me to make sure to wake him up if any of his friends came to visit. "I want to acknowlege their presence", he said. Actually I was surprised he could recognise all his friends who came despite the fact that he sometimes forgot that he was in hospital. At the end of visiting hours, I would ask him about his friends who came and he would describe to me who those friends are, what they were studying, how they met, what activities they have done together n so on. I could see he loved all his friends a lot.

I would always test him to see his state of mind by asking who I am..."Mama", he would always answer. Afzal did not sleep at all the whole night on Thursday and was either reciting versus from the Quran, performing prayers or doing the zikr thoughout the night.I think he was trying to sort things out in his head n said whatever came to mind n since Quran versus were always close to his heart, those versus were among the things he blurted out. I was tired just looking at him but helpless to do anything, other than hold his hand, massage his back n stood by his side n by the graces of Allah, I did not feel sleepy at all thoughout that night. By morning he was exhausted and all my efforts to make him stop n rest failed. The last hour before he was intubated, I kept testing him to see if he is still able to recognise me. Three times I asked him who I was. He would stop his blabbering and say "Mama".

N now, part of me is happy for him because he is no longer suffering but a larger part of me is missing him so much. My baby is no longer with me. I am no longer able to take care of him for he is now under a more capable carer.

I will always have the beautiful memories with Afzal, the moments together that only the two of us share...always.....Mama Afzal.

P/S Thank you all Afzal's friends who visited him in hospital or came to Bentong for his funeral. We decided to bury him in Bentong because that's where he was born n we chose a site right next to my mother, his grandmother to whom he was very close.


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